Saturday, December 31, 2005
Seasonal Warning.
Farris Hassan Grounded For Doing His Homework Properly.
Sixteen year old Farris Hassan's journalism assignment for school was to write about an international issue of significance from the viewpoint of people living through it, so he took himself off to Baghdad for Christmas.
After overcoming several potentially lethal challenges he made it there, and was eventually picked up by the American military, who flew him home to Fort Lauderdale in Florida.
He could be expelled from school, and his mother says she may never let him out on his own again.
I hope it doesn't come to that. However foolish it might have been to do what he did, surely Farris has a great future ahead of him as a journalist with an attitude like his.
If he was my son I couldn't help but be extremely proud of him.
After overcoming several potentially lethal challenges he made it there, and was eventually picked up by the American military, who flew him home to Fort Lauderdale in Florida.
He could be expelled from school, and his mother says she may never let him out on his own again.
I hope it doesn't come to that. However foolish it might have been to do what he did, surely Farris has a great future ahead of him as a journalist with an attitude like his.
If he was my son I couldn't help but be extremely proud of him.
Sooty Goldfish With A Tail To Tell.
A man sitting by his fireside eating fish and chips was disturbed by a soot covered goldfish which came down the chimney and bounced out of the fire onto the hearth, where it started flipping its tail.
The ten inch long fish, thought to have been dropped by a heron, survived after the man put it in the bath and fed it some bread.
The ten inch long fish, thought to have been dropped by a heron, survived after the man put it in the bath and fed it some bread.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Illusionists And Hypocrites.
Don't you just love it?
The religious establishment in Scotland are calling on a couple of small-time illusionists to be CRUCIFIED for showing up religion, and Christianity, for what it really is.
An illusion to keep the gullible in line.
The religious establishment in Scotland are calling on a couple of small-time illusionists to be CRUCIFIED for showing up religion, and Christianity, for what it really is.
An illusion to keep the gullible in line.
Lynndie England's Mother Whines At The Inhumanity Of Prison Life.
Terrie England, mother of Lynndie England, the US soldier convicted of abusing detainees in Iraq, has criticized prison officials for giving Lynndie nothing for her pain after being burned in a kitchen accident in the prison where she is serving her sentence.
"She was in severe pain," she said of the December 14 incident. "Everybody in the prison heard the scream."
Oh dear.
"They gave her nothing," she said. "When this happened I was furious. ... To think they give you nothing for pain."
Ah well. I guess what goes around comes around. If you treat human beings worse than the animal you are yourself.......
"She was in severe pain," she said of the December 14 incident. "Everybody in the prison heard the scream."
Oh dear.
"They gave her nothing," she said. "When this happened I was furious. ... To think they give you nothing for pain."
Ah well. I guess what goes around comes around. If you treat human beings worse than the animal you are yourself.......
Colcam Is Back.
We arrived back here at the ass-end-of-nowhere at midnight on Tuesday, after a long day traveling from Ireland, where we spent Christmas.
Since then it's been downhill all the way.
Wednesday I spent mostly sleeping, while Thursday was devoted to blogging, which consisted of staring blankly at two computer screens for upwards of nine hours and not typing a word. I think I'm brain-dead.
I am always delighted when Christmas has been and gone, although this year I pretty well managed to ignore it till the 25th itself. I hung up a very big stocking the night before and Santa filled it with nice stuff - not just boring grown-up stuff like socks and after shave either. I got toys too.
On Boxing day Kaspy the Collie blotted her copybook somewhat when she got caught in the kitchen with a whole breast of turkey she had stolen. She managed to scoff at least two pounds of the stuff, and much to the annoyance of everyone else, I found it funny, and expressed the view that it would save us all turning green from eating turkey sandwiches for the next week.
So Kaspy was in the dog house - with me.
Kaspy with her Christmas hat, not her halo, round her neck.
Foto by The Mongrel.
I managed to spend a couple of days wandering around downtown Belfast shooting photographs. The weather was beautiful. Sunny, crisp and cold. The city is beautiful and positively buzzing these days, and the transformation since the old days of "the troubles" is vast, and still continuing.
The Mongrel's mum came back to Scotland with us for a couple of weeks. Her luggage consisted of a bag of clothes, not too big, and a bag of bottles of the alcoholic spirit kind, larger than the clothes bag. Scotch and Irish whisky, gin and the tonic to go with it, and more.
I like a woman like that.
Anyway, the New Year will be quiet here, and that's the way I like it. I'm usually optimistic and look forward to the year ahead, but I find it difficult to be anything except pessimistic this time after watching the way of the world in 2005.
Approaching the Scottish coast on our return from Ireland.
Colcam.Image
Since then it's been downhill all the way.
Wednesday I spent mostly sleeping, while Thursday was devoted to blogging, which consisted of staring blankly at two computer screens for upwards of nine hours and not typing a word. I think I'm brain-dead.
I am always delighted when Christmas has been and gone, although this year I pretty well managed to ignore it till the 25th itself. I hung up a very big stocking the night before and Santa filled it with nice stuff - not just boring grown-up stuff like socks and after shave either. I got toys too.
On Boxing day Kaspy the Collie blotted her copybook somewhat when she got caught in the kitchen with a whole breast of turkey she had stolen. She managed to scoff at least two pounds of the stuff, and much to the annoyance of everyone else, I found it funny, and expressed the view that it would save us all turning green from eating turkey sandwiches for the next week.
So Kaspy was in the dog house - with me.
Kaspy with her Christmas hat, not her halo, round her neck.
Foto by The Mongrel.
I managed to spend a couple of days wandering around downtown Belfast shooting photographs. The weather was beautiful. Sunny, crisp and cold. The city is beautiful and positively buzzing these days, and the transformation since the old days of "the troubles" is vast, and still continuing.
The Mongrel's mum came back to Scotland with us for a couple of weeks. Her luggage consisted of a bag of clothes, not too big, and a bag of bottles of the alcoholic spirit kind, larger than the clothes bag. Scotch and Irish whisky, gin and the tonic to go with it, and more.
I like a woman like that.
Anyway, the New Year will be quiet here, and that's the way I like it. I'm usually optimistic and look forward to the year ahead, but I find it difficult to be anything except pessimistic this time after watching the way of the world in 2005.
Approaching the Scottish coast on our return from Ireland.
Colcam.Image
Monday, December 26, 2005
Belfast - Changing Hearts and Minds, Building Bridges Across the Divides In Our Community.
Colcam.Image
Colcam.Image
I hope everyone had a peaceful and happy Christmas.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
On The Road To Civilization.
It's been a busy couple of days, between tidying up and cleaning the house, which had begun to resemble a skip, and getting the car cleaned out to make enough room for the Mongrel and me, the dog and the cat to get inside and get away from this place for Christmas.
We're off to Belfast in Northern Ireland today. Civilization - and Guinness. Can't wait!
Colcam.Image
The laptop and the cameras are going too, so posts will continue - if the car makes it from here to there.
We're off to Belfast in Northern Ireland today. Civilization - and Guinness. Can't wait!
Colcam.Image
The laptop and the cameras are going too, so posts will continue - if the car makes it from here to there.
Saddam Torture Claims.
Saddam Hussein has claimed he was tortured and beaten by US troops while in custody, a charge dismissed by the American government as "preposterous".
That may or not be the case, but the Bush line on extraordinary renditions, interrogation techniques, and all the revelations about the treatment of prisoners at the hands of their American jailers will mean that Saddam will be believed by many people around the world.
And the fact that the words of the former dictator were cut off and censored by the Americans responsible for televising the trial will only serve to deepen suspicions.
That may or not be the case, but the Bush line on extraordinary renditions, interrogation techniques, and all the revelations about the treatment of prisoners at the hands of their American jailers will mean that Saddam will be believed by many people around the world.
And the fact that the words of the former dictator were cut off and censored by the Americans responsible for televising the trial will only serve to deepen suspicions.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The Great Escape.
Lofty the turkey was loaded onto a lorry to be turned into a Christmas dinner and thought it was a bad idea, so he jumped off, went on the run, and got clean away.
PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, have invited Lofty to be the guest of honour at their vegan Christmas dinner table.
He should be an interesting guest - a smart turkey with a great escape story to entertain his fellow diners.
PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, have invited Lofty to be the guest of honour at their vegan Christmas dinner table.
He should be an interesting guest - a smart turkey with a great escape story to entertain his fellow diners.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Untitled.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
As The World Hots Up, Polar Bears Drown.
Seldom a week passes, it would seem, without fresh facts appearing to strengthen the masses of evidence already available proving that the world is close to being....... ahem, fucked.
Nasa reports that 2005 has been the hottest year ever recorded. The head of the National Climate Centre at the Australian Government's Bureau of Meteorology says the sort of temperatures we have experienced have not been seen since prehistoric times. Top British climatologists agree. Carbon dioxide levels in the air are higher than anytime in the last hundreds of thousands of years.
Scientists in Bern, Switzerland, and Oregon in the United States analysed levels of the gas in tiny air bubbles trapped in Antarctic ice during the past 650,000 years. They found current levels were 27 per cent greater than the highest level over that period.
Arctic sea ice has dropped to its smallest extent ever, and now polar bears are drowning as the ice shelf melts and they are having to swim up to sixty miles to find food. Four bear carcases were found floating in one month in a single patch of sea off the north coast of Alaska, where average summer temperatures have increased by 2-3C degrees since 1950s.
And evidence from researchers working for the World Wildlife Fund in Yakutia, on the northeast coast of Russia, has shown the region’s first evidence of cannibalism among bears competing for food supplies.
It's a pretty sad legacy we leave for our grandchildren, but to the powerful few who are still in denial, greed and profit are undoubtedly more important than what kind of world they hand down.
Nasa reports that 2005 has been the hottest year ever recorded. The head of the National Climate Centre at the Australian Government's Bureau of Meteorology says the sort of temperatures we have experienced have not been seen since prehistoric times. Top British climatologists agree. Carbon dioxide levels in the air are higher than anytime in the last hundreds of thousands of years.
Scientists in Bern, Switzerland, and Oregon in the United States analysed levels of the gas in tiny air bubbles trapped in Antarctic ice during the past 650,000 years. They found current levels were 27 per cent greater than the highest level over that period.
Arctic sea ice has dropped to its smallest extent ever, and now polar bears are drowning as the ice shelf melts and they are having to swim up to sixty miles to find food. Four bear carcases were found floating in one month in a single patch of sea off the north coast of Alaska, where average summer temperatures have increased by 2-3C degrees since 1950s.
And evidence from researchers working for the World Wildlife Fund in Yakutia, on the northeast coast of Russia, has shown the region’s first evidence of cannibalism among bears competing for food supplies.
It's a pretty sad legacy we leave for our grandchildren, but to the powerful few who are still in denial, greed and profit are undoubtedly more important than what kind of world they hand down.
SNP Proved Right Over Oil Tax "Smash And Grab"
Earlier this month, when Chancellor Gordon Brown voiced his intention to double the tax on oil company profits from 10% to 20%, the Scottish National Party denounced the move, predicting job losses for Scotland as North Sea drilling operations were cut back because of the massive hike in taxes.
The government rejected the claim, saying the oil industry could afford the rise.
Perhaps, but already Shell has announced a cut in its plans for North Sea exploration, saying the decision was taken after a review prompted by the chancellor's tax increase.
The new rate of tax is to take effect from the 1st of January 2006, and there is little doubt others in the oil industry will follow the lead taken by Shell, further reducing investment in the North Sea and threatening the livelihood of many people linked directly and indirectly to the industry.
The government rejected the claim, saying the oil industry could afford the rise.
Perhaps, but already Shell has announced a cut in its plans for North Sea exploration, saying the decision was taken after a review prompted by the chancellor's tax increase.
The new rate of tax is to take effect from the 1st of January 2006, and there is little doubt others in the oil industry will follow the lead taken by Shell, further reducing investment in the North Sea and threatening the livelihood of many people linked directly and indirectly to the industry.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Highland Cutie.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
The Artist Who Shrunk Santa.
Birmingham artist Willard Wigan creates sculptures which fit inside the eye of a needle - with room to spare - and his latest work is of Santa Claus, sculpted out of carbon fibre, gold and nylon, and painted with an eyelash cut into a sixth of its normal width.
Willard has learning difficulties and can't read or write.
"Being a child I used to start making houses for ants because I thought they needed somewhere to live. "I lived in a fantasy world and I thought they needed shoes and hats."
More of Willard Wigan's incredibly tiny and beautiful work HERE.
Willard has learning difficulties and can't read or write.
"Being a child I used to start making houses for ants because I thought they needed somewhere to live. "I lived in a fantasy world and I thought they needed shoes and hats."
More of Willard Wigan's incredibly tiny and beautiful work HERE.
How To Kill And Cook A Squirrel.
I have commented previously here on the non-native grey squirrel, which is threatening the existence of the native red variety in the UK, spreading disease and taking over their habitat.
It appears there are many people all over Britain and elsewhere who understand the problem and are taking drastic steps to wipe out the grey squirrel by any means possible. Outright war has been declared, and the website deathtogreysquirrels.com gives advice on extermination techniques - shooting, trapping or, as suggested by one person, trapping them alive and posting them to France, which sounds quite humane to me.
Of course, the hunter likes to eat the game he kills, so there are some rather tasty recipes for slaughtered squirrels on the website.
ULTRASTAR'S SQUIRREL PATE. Take one squirrel, grey only, remove any lead, nails, or bits of spring, then gut and bone (keeping any none trap-shattered skeletons as a momento, or to be used in later stock). Boil the meat till cooked, then dice. Dice half an onion, and a clove of garlic. Put all the above in a blender with 1/3 pat of butter, 1 tsp of mustard, 2 desert spoons of port/sherry and some fresh basil (torn). Blitz, add more butter for consistency, salt and pepper to taste. Leave for 24 hours for the flavours to mix.
Sounds positively yummy. Murder enough grey squirrels and not only could you have a free Christmas dinner, you could do your bit for conservation and save the red squirrel from extinction.
(WARNING. Don't forget to read the bit on why NOT to eat the brains of your liquidated tree rat.)
It appears there are many people all over Britain and elsewhere who understand the problem and are taking drastic steps to wipe out the grey squirrel by any means possible. Outright war has been declared, and the website deathtogreysquirrels.com gives advice on extermination techniques - shooting, trapping or, as suggested by one person, trapping them alive and posting them to France, which sounds quite humane to me.
Of course, the hunter likes to eat the game he kills, so there are some rather tasty recipes for slaughtered squirrels on the website.
ULTRASTAR'S SQUIRREL PATE. Take one squirrel, grey only, remove any lead, nails, or bits of spring, then gut and bone (keeping any none trap-shattered skeletons as a momento, or to be used in later stock). Boil the meat till cooked, then dice. Dice half an onion, and a clove of garlic. Put all the above in a blender with 1/3 pat of butter, 1 tsp of mustard, 2 desert spoons of port/sherry and some fresh basil (torn). Blitz, add more butter for consistency, salt and pepper to taste. Leave for 24 hours for the flavours to mix.
Sounds positively yummy. Murder enough grey squirrels and not only could you have a free Christmas dinner, you could do your bit for conservation and save the red squirrel from extinction.
(WARNING. Don't forget to read the bit on why NOT to eat the brains of your liquidated tree rat.)
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Inverness Airport Monster Scare.
The English businessman who got onto a plane at Inverness Airport and said jokingly to a stewardess that his carrier bag contained a bomb must be one of the last people left in the world to imagine that airline staff have a sense of humour when it comes to bomb wisecracks.
His flight was held up for hours, and he was hauled off the plane by armed police. He spent 24 hours in police cells before being taken to court, and was given bail until January on the condition he does not board an aircraft until the case is over. He had to get a train back to England.
And he still doesn't get it. He says the armed police response was "absolute madness".
For a businessman, even an English businessman, this is a really dumb character. He comes to Scotland on a weekend luxury break - in Aviemore of all places! Unless you consider tacky to be tasteful, Aviemore is not luxury - then, just to prove he's really stupid and has zero taste, he buys furry Loch Ness Monster souvenirs, before jumping on a plane and saying the bag of Chinese or Taiwanese produced Scottish souvenirs has a bomb in it. And he doesn't understand what the fuss is about, or why he didn't get his green furry Loch Ness Monsters back from the police.
The cops used a controlled explosion on them because they were so damned vulgar, trashy and offensive, that's why.
His flight was held up for hours, and he was hauled off the plane by armed police. He spent 24 hours in police cells before being taken to court, and was given bail until January on the condition he does not board an aircraft until the case is over. He had to get a train back to England.
And he still doesn't get it. He says the armed police response was "absolute madness".
For a businessman, even an English businessman, this is a really dumb character. He comes to Scotland on a weekend luxury break - in Aviemore of all places! Unless you consider tacky to be tasteful, Aviemore is not luxury - then, just to prove he's really stupid and has zero taste, he buys furry Loch Ness Monster souvenirs, before jumping on a plane and saying the bag of Chinese or Taiwanese produced Scottish souvenirs has a bomb in it. And he doesn't understand what the fuss is about, or why he didn't get his green furry Loch Ness Monsters back from the police.
The cops used a controlled explosion on them because they were so damned vulgar, trashy and offensive, that's why.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
December, Lochaber.
A Bigoted Cop With More Money Than Sense.
An Ulster police officer is pursuing a case against the Chief Constable who introduced new uniforms for the Police Service of Northern Ireland and, if he loses the case, will have to pay the legal costs of £10,000.
He accuses the Chief Constable of "political and religious" discrimination over the colour of the uniform - green, with white shirt and a gold badge - and says it is representative of Sinn Fein and the IRA. He says it causes offence and injury to his feelings when he sees it worn.
The only thing this cop is proving, at great expense to himself, is that he is a religious bigot, and that there should be no place for him in the PSNI. A police officer with views like his cannot be entirely neutral, so cannot be trusted to carry out his duties fairly and properly in a place like Northern Ireland.
If he loses this case, and surely he will, he should have his uniform stripped off him as they take his ten grand and kick him off the force, along with any others who feel the same way as him.
He accuses the Chief Constable of "political and religious" discrimination over the colour of the uniform - green, with white shirt and a gold badge - and says it is representative of Sinn Fein and the IRA. He says it causes offence and injury to his feelings when he sees it worn.
The only thing this cop is proving, at great expense to himself, is that he is a religious bigot, and that there should be no place for him in the PSNI. A police officer with views like his cannot be entirely neutral, so cannot be trusted to carry out his duties fairly and properly in a place like Northern Ireland.
If he loses this case, and surely he will, he should have his uniform stripped off him as they take his ten grand and kick him off the force, along with any others who feel the same way as him.
Global Warming Humiliation For Bush.
Shortly after I posted "If It Looks Like A Duck, Quacks Like A Duck, Walks Like A Duck Then It's.......A Bush" yesterday, it was announced that agreement had been reached with over 180 nations in Montreal to develop measures to combat climate change, despite the Americans walking out muttering about ducks.
In the process, the delegates to the climate summit in Montreal dealt a humiliating blow to President George Bush's five-year attempt to destroy the Kyoto Protocol. The United States, which tried to sabotage the meeting at the last minute by walking out of the negotiations, was forced to join the agreement after failing to persuade a single nation to join it.
It has indeed been thought-provoking to watch some of the most desperately poor nations on earth show willingness to tackle the enormous challenges of reversing global warming, while the richest and most polluting nation on the planet, America, has sought to scuttle the whole process.
Of course it should be recognized that not the whole of the US take the view of George Bush and his administration. Many Americans and many states have gone their own way in tackling pollution, ignoring the views of their President, and they should be applauded for showing responsibility, good sense and, of course, lack of greed and self-interest, qualities sadly lacking in the White House.
And undoubtedly the intervention of Bill Clinton was timely, effective and deadly. What an indictment of the incumbent President, when it takes his predecessor to come in and do his duty for him.
In the process, the delegates to the climate summit in Montreal dealt a humiliating blow to President George Bush's five-year attempt to destroy the Kyoto Protocol. The United States, which tried to sabotage the meeting at the last minute by walking out of the negotiations, was forced to join the agreement after failing to persuade a single nation to join it.
It has indeed been thought-provoking to watch some of the most desperately poor nations on earth show willingness to tackle the enormous challenges of reversing global warming, while the richest and most polluting nation on the planet, America, has sought to scuttle the whole process.
Of course it should be recognized that not the whole of the US take the view of George Bush and his administration. Many Americans and many states have gone their own way in tackling pollution, ignoring the views of their President, and they should be applauded for showing responsibility, good sense and, of course, lack of greed and self-interest, qualities sadly lacking in the White House.
And undoubtedly the intervention of Bill Clinton was timely, effective and deadly. What an indictment of the incumbent President, when it takes his predecessor to come in and do his duty for him.
Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!
She's following me, she's out to get me, watching my every move.
Kats at Life In The Slow Lane has posted the same picture of Rudolph as I was going to use - so I've scored mine out.......
And used this one instead.
Bah humbug!!!
Kats at Life In The Slow Lane has posted the same picture of Rudolph as I was going to use - so I've scored mine out.......
And used this one instead.
Bah humbug!!!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
If It Looks Like A Duck, Quacks Like A Duck, Walks Like A Duck Then It's.......A Bush.
And if, indeed, there is any constructive agreement in Montreal which includes America even talking about further talks on climate change, the world can thank the cavalry's last minute charge over the hill to save the day....... in the shape of former President Bill Clinton.
An ASBO For Bagpipes.
A thirteen year old Paisley boy has been sent a warning letter from the local council after neighbours complained about the noise he makes playing his bagpipes, which were found to break the anti-social behaviour law noise limits.
If the lad goes on playing outside his house, or the dispute is not settled with the people who complained is not settled, he could get an Anti-social Behaviour Order (ASBO) served on him.
I have some sympathy for the neighbours. The Mongrel's son used to play the flute, which makes a hell of a lot less racket than the bagpipes, and she used to send him off half way up the mountain behind our house to practice. We didn't have anyone living beside us. He only got sent up there to save our ears.
They should leave the boy alone and ASBO the bagpipes, then Santa can bring him a set of drums for Christmas.
If the lad goes on playing outside his house, or the dispute is not settled with the people who complained is not settled, he could get an Anti-social Behaviour Order (ASBO) served on him.
I have some sympathy for the neighbours. The Mongrel's son used to play the flute, which makes a hell of a lot less racket than the bagpipes, and she used to send him off half way up the mountain behind our house to practice. We didn't have anyone living beside us. He only got sent up there to save our ears.
They should leave the boy alone and ASBO the bagpipes, then Santa can bring him a set of drums for Christmas.
Dead Cheap.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Boy George And The Beast Of Bolsover.
Dennis Skinner is one of the last real old Labour MP's, and he was on top form the other day when he rose to speak during Treasury questions.
Commenting on Chancellor Gordon Brown's forecast of 1.75% growth which, of course, is being seized upon by the Conservative party as a dreadful disaster, Dennis referred back to Thatcher's 1980's, and said: "The only thing that was growing then was the lines of coke in front of Boy George and the rest of the Tories."
The Speaker of the House, Michael Martin, chucked him out for the rest of the day, and Boy George (George Osborne, Tory shadow chancellor) later said it was "pretty desperate and personal stuff."
It's not the first time Dennis has been thrown out of the chamber for speaking his and many others mind, and no doubt it wont be the last. It's refreshing to hear the only too rare truth being spoken by a genuine Labour MP.
Commenting on Chancellor Gordon Brown's forecast of 1.75% growth which, of course, is being seized upon by the Conservative party as a dreadful disaster, Dennis referred back to Thatcher's 1980's, and said: "The only thing that was growing then was the lines of coke in front of Boy George and the rest of the Tories."
The Speaker of the House, Michael Martin, chucked him out for the rest of the day, and Boy George (George Osborne, Tory shadow chancellor) later said it was "pretty desperate and personal stuff."
It's not the first time Dennis has been thrown out of the chamber for speaking his and many others mind, and no doubt it wont be the last. It's refreshing to hear the only too rare truth being spoken by a genuine Labour MP.
Shedboatshed And Titian.
In a week in which we have seen the predictable annual scorn and ridicule over the Turner Prize, awarded this year to Simon Starling for his conceptual work, Shedboatshed, a painting by Titian, unfinished when the artist died in 1576, went to auction at Christies.
Nobody wanted it. Portrait of a Lady and her Daughter, expected to fetch between five and eight million pounds, failed to make its reserve price.
Beautifully painted, no doubt, this painting says....... yawn....... not a lot. It's a painting of a wifey and her brat who, if the camera had been invented, would have been photographed, saving everybody a lot of time and trouble. It is a record, no doubt flatteringly enhanced to cover up the plooks on their faces, of what two people looked like. It has no meaning beyond that, and while technically excellent, says nothing and makes no statement. Old masters churned out such portraits by the ton to earn a buck.
Unlike Shedboatshed which, love it or hate it, understand it or not, is thought-provoking, creative and original. Anybody else made a shedboatshed, anybody else even had the idea, or even used the word shedboatshed?
No. And at least it wasn't second hand, and it was finished, unlike Titian's five million quid snapshot - and you know how boring it is looking at other peoples family photos.
Nobody wanted it. Portrait of a Lady and her Daughter, expected to fetch between five and eight million pounds, failed to make its reserve price.
Beautifully painted, no doubt, this painting says....... yawn....... not a lot. It's a painting of a wifey and her brat who, if the camera had been invented, would have been photographed, saving everybody a lot of time and trouble. It is a record, no doubt flatteringly enhanced to cover up the plooks on their faces, of what two people looked like. It has no meaning beyond that, and while technically excellent, says nothing and makes no statement. Old masters churned out such portraits by the ton to earn a buck.
Unlike Shedboatshed which, love it or hate it, understand it or not, is thought-provoking, creative and original. Anybody else made a shedboatshed, anybody else even had the idea, or even used the word shedboatshed?
No. And at least it wasn't second hand, and it was finished, unlike Titian's five million quid snapshot - and you know how boring it is looking at other peoples family photos.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Pinter Savages "Bleating Little Lamb" UK And Blair.
"We have brought torture, cluster bombs, depleted uranium, innumerable acts of random murder, misery, degradation and death to the Iraqi people, and call it 'bringing freedom and democracy to the Middle East'."
Nobel prize-winning playwright Harold Pinter, who has called for Tony Blair to be tried for war crimes, in his acceptance speech to the Nobel committee.
Nobel prize-winning playwright Harold Pinter, who has called for Tony Blair to be tried for war crimes, in his acceptance speech to the Nobel committee.
Nudes Headlines.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
A Bite From Tesco Would Mean The End Of My Sanity.
The biggest supermarket chain in the UK, Tesco, have successfully ensured that I, having never bought one of their sandwiches in my life, will continue to never buy one of their sandwiches.
They may be delicious for all I know, but I will never find out - in case it plays Jingle Effing Bells when I open the plastic packaging, or Santa Bloody Claus Is Coming To Town.
We are assaulted everywhere we go with canned music, whether it be in the lift, in shops, the pub, on the telephone, all year round. Bad enough, but from the beginning of November onwards we are subjected to something even worse. Christmas canned music.
Now Tesco have announced the ultimate in canned sickness, the musical sandwich which surely, if I was ever daft enough to buy one, would drive me right over the edge.
If, however, they sold a nice triple decker which didn't include turkey and screamed Bah Humbug at the top of it's electronic voice when I opened the wrapping, I might be persuaded.
They may be delicious for all I know, but I will never find out - in case it plays Jingle Effing Bells when I open the plastic packaging, or Santa Bloody Claus Is Coming To Town.
We are assaulted everywhere we go with canned music, whether it be in the lift, in shops, the pub, on the telephone, all year round. Bad enough, but from the beginning of November onwards we are subjected to something even worse. Christmas canned music.
Now Tesco have announced the ultimate in canned sickness, the musical sandwich which surely, if I was ever daft enough to buy one, would drive me right over the edge.
If, however, they sold a nice triple decker which didn't include turkey and screamed Bah Humbug at the top of it's electronic voice when I opened the wrapping, I might be persuaded.
Monday, December 05, 2005
I'm Going To Hell. . . It'll Be Warmer There.
A study has found that up to a third of Scottish churchmen believe in hell, with people being saved into the "saved" and the "lost" departments on "judgement day."
It comes as no surprise to me to learn that the majority of clergy in the Highlands and Western Isles are the strongest believers in hell. These are the conservative Presbyterian fanatics of the "Wee Free" persuasion, the small minded evil dregs of Scotland, who preach fire and brimstone and are the killjoys of life. They still manage to exert a grip on their congregations here, and especially in the islands, through fear and bullying.
If there was a hell they would be the first in line for "eternal mental anguish" and "eternal physical torment" for the suffering the hypocritical bastards inflict on all around them.
And if there is a hell, that's where I'll be going, according to these sick clowns, because I've enjoyed life and tried to spend it being a bit naughty, thank goodness. Anyway, it's got to be better than Spean Bridge in the winter.
I wonder if they use coal or peat to warm the place up.
It comes as no surprise to me to learn that the majority of clergy in the Highlands and Western Isles are the strongest believers in hell. These are the conservative Presbyterian fanatics of the "Wee Free" persuasion, the small minded evil dregs of Scotland, who preach fire and brimstone and are the killjoys of life. They still manage to exert a grip on their congregations here, and especially in the islands, through fear and bullying.
If there was a hell they would be the first in line for "eternal mental anguish" and "eternal physical torment" for the suffering the hypocritical bastards inflict on all around them.
And if there is a hell, that's where I'll be going, according to these sick clowns, because I've enjoyed life and tried to spend it being a bit naughty, thank goodness. Anyway, it's got to be better than Spean Bridge in the winter.
I wonder if they use coal or peat to warm the place up.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Under The Mistletoe.......
Diet For Farting Cows.
There are 1.4 billion farting cows worldwide, each producing 500 litres of methane per day, which accounts for 14% of all emissions of the climate warming gas, while in Scotland, cows produce 46% of all methane emissions.
Now scientists in Aberdeen have developed a diet that has reduced flatulence in cows by 70%. This could have a significant impact on reducing greenhouse gas emissions while being more profitable for farmers, as the production of the gas means 10% of cattle feed is presently wasted.
The diet, which is a mixture of organic sugars and a bacterium used as an additive, is now undergoing a 12 month commercial and scientific evaluation.
Anything similar to reduce the worldwide flatulence of windbag politicians by 70%?
Now scientists in Aberdeen have developed a diet that has reduced flatulence in cows by 70%. This could have a significant impact on reducing greenhouse gas emissions while being more profitable for farmers, as the production of the gas means 10% of cattle feed is presently wasted.
The diet, which is a mixture of organic sugars and a bacterium used as an additive, is now undergoing a 12 month commercial and scientific evaluation.
Anything similar to reduce the worldwide flatulence of windbag politicians by 70%?
Saturday, December 03, 2005
The End Of The World As Colcam Knows It.
Colcam hasn't blogged, hasn't even seen a computer screen for the past couple of days. On returning to his little cyber-window on the world, his first priority was to post a post - just a short one, not too much work, not too much thought - just enough to tide him over while he actually thought about something relevant and devastatingly intelligent to publish.
Next, Colcam browsed the ravings of a few other blogs he reads, only to discover that most of them have reported in sick. Nothing too serious hopefully, boys and girls, and get well soon. All of you.
Colcam's absence, however, was not due to any of the bugs, diseases, wounds, maybe monumental hangovers even, which seem to be afflicting everyone. Sadly, his situation was much more serious, and he is still suffering from the after-effects, though he will struggle on bravely, despite the pain.
"Oh," Colcam hears you all saying with concern in your voices, "Is it serious, is it life-threatening, will he pull through, what is this terrible pestilence that makes all our colds, snuffles, aches and pains pale into insignificance?"
Work, of course!
Colcam had to work. Only for a couple of long, long days, but it wasn't shooting photographs, it wasn't writing or anything remotely creative, so it really was tough on his old bones, stressful to his tired brain, and threatened a muscle or three that had long lost any memory of when they were last flexed, never mind woken up. Moreover, he had to go away from the cultural capital of the world, Spean Bridge - population scary, three pubs not worth a visit, and a phone box - to carry out the work. He did take the laptop and mobile phone with him, but was too damned knackered to get the lid of the laptop open, never mind type, think or move the cursor to the send icon.
But he did manage to partake of a couple of bottles of rather nice wine while away, and that possibly saved his life and gave him the strength to carry on.
(Colcam is still very weak and is now retiring to bed for a long snooze)
Next, Colcam browsed the ravings of a few other blogs he reads, only to discover that most of them have reported in sick. Nothing too serious hopefully, boys and girls, and get well soon. All of you.
Colcam's absence, however, was not due to any of the bugs, diseases, wounds, maybe monumental hangovers even, which seem to be afflicting everyone. Sadly, his situation was much more serious, and he is still suffering from the after-effects, though he will struggle on bravely, despite the pain.
"Oh," Colcam hears you all saying with concern in your voices, "Is it serious, is it life-threatening, will he pull through, what is this terrible pestilence that makes all our colds, snuffles, aches and pains pale into insignificance?"
Work, of course!
Colcam had to work. Only for a couple of long, long days, but it wasn't shooting photographs, it wasn't writing or anything remotely creative, so it really was tough on his old bones, stressful to his tired brain, and threatened a muscle or three that had long lost any memory of when they were last flexed, never mind woken up. Moreover, he had to go away from the cultural capital of the world, Spean Bridge - population scary, three pubs not worth a visit, and a phone box - to carry out the work. He did take the laptop and mobile phone with him, but was too damned knackered to get the lid of the laptop open, never mind type, think or move the cursor to the send icon.
But he did manage to partake of a couple of bottles of rather nice wine while away, and that possibly saved his life and gave him the strength to carry on.
(Colcam is still very weak and is now retiring to bed for a long snooze)
Onion Chopper - Eye Popper.
The owner of a cook shop in Macclesfield, England, received a promotional video from his suppliers. Being a trusting sort of fellow he stuck it into the video recorder linked to a screen in the shop and let it run.
A few minutes later the video cut from the actions of an onion chopper to another kind of chopper - in a pornographic movie.
The owner said: "We had a few old ladies in and I knew straight away it wasn't going to be good for business."
A few minutes later the video cut from the actions of an onion chopper to another kind of chopper - in a pornographic movie.
The owner said: "We had a few old ladies in and I knew straight away it wasn't going to be good for business."
© Colcam 2005-2007
